HUMANS VS. ZOMBIES: Survival Guide For the “Weak”

Human VS. Zombies Is Coming

That’s right, you heard it here! Humans VS. Zombies, the greatest high intensity game of tag ever invented, will be taking over every inch and corner of Vanguard’s campus this week.

Humans VS. Zombies has proven itself to be a game meant for anyone to participate in, regardless of athletic ability.

New to the game? Worried about how to survive as a human? What about as a zombie? Don’t forget, you need at least one human life every twenty-four hours to avoid starvation. What if running all around campus doesn’t sound appealing, but you’re still interested in the game?

Or, what if all of your friends want to play, and you don’t? How do you survive the week as a non-player?

Fear not, as a former participant myself, I have some tips to help you survive Humans VS. Zombies as a human, zombie, player, or observer.

Take out your pen and paper, and make sure to jot down some notes. This is serious business. Pure survival. Survival for the skilled, and survival for the weak.

TIP #1: DON’T DRESS CUTE. This is not the week for nicely put together fall outfits. This game calls for running shoes and comfortable clothing, and even war paint if you feel so inclined. (No one actually wears war paint on their face, I just think it would look cool.)

TIP #2: Friends aren’t actually friends during HVZ. Think you have a solid friend group at this point in college? You probably do. But, put that all behind you the minute HVZ begins. Put on your game face and don’t look back. Normal friendships will resume after HVZ ends. Priorities, people.

TIP #3: It is totally, absolutely, and definitely okay to be a bit of a stalker for HVZ week. This goes for humans and zombies. As a human, always be on the lookout for any zombies lurking behind you in the shadows. As a zombie, you kind of have to be a stalker in order to stealthily sneak up and kill the humans. So by all means, stalk, creep, watch, lurk, do whatever it takes to catch or run away from someone.

TIP #4: Put life on pause. I know I know, this sounds a bit drastic. But I’m totally serious. This is not a normal week. Some people wait all year for this. Cancel plans, push aside homework and studying, skip class, call out of work, do what you have to. SERIOUS. STUFF.

(Please don’t actually skip class or call out of work, I was joking, kind of)

TIP #5: Stay in CONSTANT communication with your kind, and stay loyal. Humans look out for other humans and let one another know when a zombie is in the area. Zombies, you too. If a fellow zombie is in danger of starving, help a homie out. If you happen to catch more than one human in twenty-four hours, feed your zombie friend. Stick together, my friends.

TIP #6: ATTENTION HUMANS. This for you. Always….and I mean always carry around at least five to ten socks rolled into little balls as a means of protection. You can throw these at zombies, which will stun them for five minutes. They are way easier to carry with you as opposed to nerf guns. Also, just be smart. Travel in groups, take different routes to classes, and constantly be on the lookout for that green bandana. (Side note. Please don’t be that human that barely plays the game because they stay inside all day. Not fun. Not fun at all.)

TIP #7: CALLING ALL ZOMBIES. You must be persistent and you must be skilled. Take the most clever human, and multiply their skill level by ten. That’s where you need to be. Try your very hardest to not be seen and be the absolute best stalker you can be. Seriously.

(Chapels, the dorms, and the caf are your best spots for humans.)

TIP #8: For anyone not playing, my tips depend on where you’re at with not participating. If you choose to not play and want absolutely nothing to do with the game, then just go about your daily life and watch the rest of the campus act like complete fools. If you choose to not play, but enjoy watching throughout your day, be a homie and let a fellow human know if they are about to get caught. Or let a zombie know if there’s a human in the area. You can still be involved without participating.

Last but definitely not least, just have fun. Actually, no. Have the time of your life. Have SO much fun. Make some of the best memories, and take really cool pictures. Let it consume your days and let people think you’re super weird for it. It’ll be great.

Are you stoked yet?! Let the games begin!