Roommates: My Mama Warned Me About These

Having roommates is kind of like getting lice. They are awful, itchy, and usually result in hair loss. I got so lucky to have three girl roommates. And yes, to answer your questions, I find bobby pins everywhere; my car, my socks, EVERYWHERE.

Anyway, after four months of this apartment conveniently located behind VU, I have a few words of guidance.
1. When you open a cabinet, close the door after retrieving your item. When I come from a long day of work and all 62 cabinet doors are wide open, I question my sanity and start believing in ghosts.
2. Clean up after yourself. I don’t know about these premature twenty somethings I live with, but if you make a mess, clean it up because if you don’t, I will start throwing all your dirty dishes right on your bed. Ask me if I care. Just do it.
3. Why do I come home from work to find a pile or your entire wardrobe laying in the center of the living room? Underwear and all. Did I miss something? What farm did you grow up on?
4. I am all for relationships, but when your boyfriend starts moving in, we have a problem. I can’t stand you in the first place, why would I want your toad of a boyfriend present 24/7?
5. Monitor your own food in the refrigerator. When I have to weekly clean it out with bleach, Lysol wipes, and a jumbo trash bag, you are just plain careless.
6. When the trash can is full, EMPTY IT. What family did you come from where you think starting a new pile of trash on the floor next to the full trash can was a smart idea? Again, what farm did you grow on?
7. What is with all the princess memorabilia everywhere? Must I find princess Kleenex boxes cluttering the house, and magnets of Disney movies I have never heard before littering the refrigerator. I’m sorry you are stuck in your teens but it’s time to be a big girl.
8. If you make a mess on the floor, SWEEP IT UP. Honey boo, you are 23. It’s time to grow up.

I leave the rest of you with words of wisdom: Pick and choose your roommates wisely. For you could end up in my situation: We are all in college now; it’s time to take the leap to adulthood. Don’t get hit by a bus!
Xoxo