The Voice Advice Column

Question One:

“I am terrible at asking for help, I always feel like I am bothering people. Even this is hard! What’s a good way to ask for help without seeming needy?” – Anonymous Instagram User

Great question, reader!

It seems the main thing you are worried about is not sounding needy, right? We’ll get to the psychology of that later, and for now we can address your question head-on.

A great way to ask someone for help without coming off like you are just asking them for something, is to start a conversation before you do the asking. Text them first, ask how they have been, remind them how much they mean to you. It doesn’t feel quite so daunting and uncomfortable to ask someone for help after they’ve shown you why you thought of them as someone who can be of help.

Another way to ease your mind when you find it uncomfortable to ask for help, is to let them know you are always there to help as well! Sometimes it feels like you are the only one struggling with this, in reality we all need help sometimes.

Now for the annoying advice! Lets talk about why you have trouble asking for help. But first I must preface that I am not a therapist, I am just a student.

However, it is because I am a student like you that I think I can tell you this: no one is mad at you for asking for help. You are not bothering anyone by your existence and your need for assistance.

Now this isn’t to say that everyone can just go around asking everyone else to do everything for them. Nor should you start to rely too much on other people, expecting to never give anything in return.

But I promise that you can ask for help. We are all doing life for the first time together, and you won’t be punished for not having everything figured out.

Question Two:

“Should I preorder the Taylor Swift Tortured Poets Department on vinyl?” – Anonymous Instagram User

Now we’re getting to the deep questions.

There are multiple factors to consider here. For example, are you a fan of Taylor Swift? How big of a Taylor Swift fan are you? Do you have a record player?

But no, seriously, I am going to assume that since you are asking, you are a pretty big Taylor Swift fan, with a record player available to you.

So the obvious factors to consider are: can you afford it financially; how confident are you in your future love of the album as a whole; and are you happy with the current colors of the vinyl?

Sometimes, we feel like we can afford things financially, but really we can’t. However, there is nothing wrong with spending money on a thing you are passionate about, when you have the money for it!

Now, have you also considered the way the album is going to sound. There are sources online that say this album will sound like a mix of Red and Evermore. You should definitely think about how you feel about those two. If you love them, then go for it! But if not, maybe wait until April 19th, to see how you feel about the music. The record will be on sale for a long time, you can always get it later.

And lastly, consider the colors. With some of Taylor’s previous vinyls, there were multiple releases with different colors and different bonus tracks. If you think you may like a different, future color later, then give it a little while. But if you would be perfectly content with the black or white, then again, don’t rule out the possibility of buying it.

Question Three:

“Sometimes I procrastinate too much. Especially with writing my midterm paper. How do I stop?” – Anonymous Instagram User

So real. We’ve all been there, reader.

But the good news is there is a lot of advice to be given in this arena.

First, we have some amazing resources on campus for you! To help you specifically with procrastinating, we have Academic Success Coaches. These are students (just like you) who will help you keep yourself accountable. They meet with you one-on-one to help with you with your schedule and check up on you. No pressure, it’s not like they’ll fail you if you do end up procrastinating, they are merely there to encourage you.

Also, if you are specifically worried about your paper, know that there is also a Writing Center on campus that can help you to edit what you’ve written. No worries if you wrote it at midnight, the Writing Center can take a look at it for you in the morning and help you work through it.

If you would rather work through it on your own, no worries! We all do things differently, so maybe including other people in the mix, just isn’t for you.

I would suggest getting a planner, and specifically planning out rest times along with times dedicated to working. I find that I usually procrastinate because I just really feel like I need a break. But, if you have scheduled breaks, you have a time to look forward to as you work, and you can get those important moments of rest to keep you going later.

There is also a last-ditch effort I use to keep myself on task when I need it. I go out to a coffee shop—or anywhere public—when I am really having a slump in productivity. Because I can’t mindlessly scroll at a coffee shop; I need to look like I am busy with something so the strangers around me think I am cool and driven, you see? Of course, this means that I feel I have to purchase a cup of coffee, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Lastly, have a little grace for yourself! Sometimes, we really need those procrastination moments. And you aren’t alone, many are plagued with the procrastination sickness. If it gets done, then it gets done—so don’t worry (just maybe purchase a planner the next time you see one).