Ring by Spring? Maybe you need a boyfriend first…

From the moment freshmen and transfers step onto Vanguard’s campus, the pressure sets in. The pressure to fill that ringless extremity becomes second on your “to-do” list, quickly following finding out who the Queen Bee is. After all, what would senior year be if you didn’t need both hands to count the engagement notifications blowing up your Facebook feed? Don’t worry, if your engagement goes sour, there are always Vanguard’s counselors to assist you in putting together the pieces of your broken heart.

Needham Chapel is reportedly accepting all requests for wedding ceremonies, with a discounted price. Though convenient, I recommend using an altar elsewhere, one that doesn’t have the smell of the Caf waifing through it.

Oh, and you cannot forget your professors do not miss any beats reminding you of your relationship status… or lack thereof.

“An especially recycled trend at Vanguard is to (1) do Frontline freshman year, (2) become a resident assistant sophomore year, and (3) minor in religion junior year and” – last but not least – “get hitched senior year,” sophomore Thaddeus Brians said.

And for all you singles, it could be worse. For instance, California Baptist University recently launched their own dating site directly linking singles together and pushing the “ring by spring” mentality after finding your “soulmate.” Similar to E-Harmony, this school is set on helping its students find the person they are meant to be with. Don’t get any ideas Vanguard or we are all doomed. You can see it for yourself here.

However, there are those of you who are actually happy and have found love, like recent VU graduate Katelyn Morton. She couldn’t be happier about her decision to get engaged early.

“I always imagined myself being married in my early twenties” she said. “Much of that probably came from my cultural Christian influence. However, I don’t think that Vanguard influenced or affected my getting engaged, other than the fact that I found my fiancé there!”

Morton advises young college students to not get caught up in a “marriage-headed” relationship simply because we do not want to spend life alone. Instead, she says we should travel and enjoy our single time. “Finding that one person who makes you the happiest is wonderful” she said, “but don’t rush it! I was lucky to have found my person so early, but I am definitely the exception and not the rule.”

Well isn’t that sweet, we are all just so happy for you Katelyn. For you seniors in your last semester of VU, don’t let the pressure set in. Becoming a nun is still an option.